Korea Tops Global Busyness Index

The nation’ s leisure deficit reached new highs this quarter despite economic slowdown and job shortages. Hospitals report that ulcers, hernias, migraines, suicides and overall shortages of well-being have reached epidemic proportions, testifying to the strain on Korea ‘s dynamism. Extreme busyness struck at the heart of the economic sector this Friday when Kim Young Joon, president of WonderMagiCom Inc. was reported missing two weeks earlier by his concerned family. Police questioning at locals bars, PC-rooms and room-salons had turned up no sign of him, but the case broke wide open when office secretaries reported a strange odor emanating from his office at WonderMagiCom headquarters. Mr. Kim was found emaciated, weak and severely dehydrated at his desk, apparently suffering from extreme busyness. He initially refused treatment, muttering the company ‘s inspirational slogan, “Let’ s have a good shape of our well times. ” He protested ” I can’t leave! I have too much work to do! ” but relented when police pointed out that his desktop computer was still in its original wrapping. In a bizarre twist, no evidence of actual work was found at the scene. Mr. Kim was taken to hospital where he was treated, pronounced in stable condition, and will remain under observation if staff can find a moment to spare.

“Oh, I envy him…” sighed Vice President Lee Tae Gun. “I could use a vacation. It’s touching that his family contacted the police. I was once stapled to my desk for three weeks before one of the cleaners found me and brought me a staple remover. I should have ordered one myself but I just didn’t have time.”

In other business news, stocks in Naver, Cyworld, World of Warcraft and Lineage continue their robust growth.