Lets Work Together to End Global Inequality After My Trip to Thailand

by

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Ed Crudder

Some of us in this world find ourselves toiling away for hours on end, living by the sweat of our brows, doing back-breaking manual labor for a few dollars a day, knowing that our very survival depends upon our strenuous physical efforts. Others of us teach English. In the modern age, economic inequality has given rise to exploitation, human trafficking, and that show where the Thai lady pulls razors out of her pussy. I may be an idealist, but I strongly believe that as citizens of this planet, we should all work together so that a fair and equitable chance at happiness is available to all human beings one day. The day after I get back from Bangkok.

Life in the third world can often be harsh and cruel. My uncle went to Vietnam and after the things he saw there, he was never quite the same. Of course, it was the mid 90s and he went there as a sex tourist, but the experience changed him nonetheless. I’ll never forget when he said to me, “Eddy, you’ve got to get out to Southeast Asia. The whores there are so cheap, it’ll blow your fucking mind.” It was, without a doubt, the strangest wedding toast I’d ever heard. But after I got divorced and came out to Korea, I began to think of my uncle’s words. And I really began to think about them after I realized I was spending 300 bucks a month on “sports” massages, and the closest I came to playing sports was boning the girls at the sports massage place. And so, a week ago, I bought a plane ticket to Thailand.

If my expat friends are to be believed, Thailand is just like Pirates of the Caribbean. Except instead of pirates, there’s prostitutes. And instead of the Caribbean, there’s prostitutes. And because of economics, I can buy a prostitute in Thailand for the price of a meal for two in Korea. And after I fuck the prostitute, I can probably buy us a meal for two for the price of a prostitute in some shittier country like Liberia. Clearly, this is not fair, it is not equitable, and it is an outrage. A horny, horny outrage.

I call on all people from all parts of the globe to join together and tear down the barriers that perpetuate economic inequality. But first, there should be an intensive planning stage that lasts until I get back on September 24th. But then, definitely start tearing those barriers down. Hopefully, by then I’ll have enough silk shirts and black-market boner pills to last me through the new era of universal human dignity.

38 Responses to “Lets Work Together to End Global Inequality After My Trip to Thailand”

  1. eddy ru ok? ru ok eddy? Says:

    wow… the gloves finally came off..

  2. JMO Says:

    ha! Hilarious…

  3. Lazy_Contractor Says:

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! I love this site!

  4. total-spender Says:

    Nice to see that the YANGPA has steered its focus away from bashing Korea (and by extension all that sail in her).

    I really don’t understand how someone could be the admin of a website that perpetually mocks such a wonderful and idiosyncratic country.

    Oh, hang on a minute ….

  5. idealjetsam Says:

    You’re churning them out these days, William.

    But leave poor Ed alone: he just wants to have his pie and eat it too.

  6. jinglejangle Says:

    I thought Thailand was in Korea. Or are they both in Japan? Whatever.

  7. idealjetsam Says:

    Well, jj, they all look alike anyway…(Has anyone ever used that line before?)

    –i.

  8. Hugh Says:

    More Crudder! More Crudder!

  9. FaecesDiner Says:

    i hear thailand girl have AID.

  10. Nick Says:

    Love it. Funny. Keep at it.

  11. noni Says:

    high-larious! i miss korea a lot, for all the good and bad!

  12. The Marmot’s Hole » Yangpa On, Uh, Ending Global Inequality Says:

    […] Funny shit, man.  Funny shit. […]

  13. Brian Says:

    Hey, I used to work with Ed at a hagwon in Seoul!

  14. Silly Sally Says:

    This blogger is seriously talented.

  15. Mike Pechar Says:

    Quite chucklable!

  16. JUN Says:

    I heard about your site. The worst thing is, I’m Korean. And when I’ve been reading your shit..I made the decision to tell this.
    Don’t come Korea, the person like you don’t have any right to go to the
    other country. I’m doing a big business in Seoul, and I have many western clients..Don’t think Korean people can not understand your cheap english at all. I’ll remember your face, and I’ll tell you, wish you won’t meet me here. Good luck.

  17. Candide Pole Voltaire Says:

    the previous gentleman- is he-

    a. angry young man?
    b. arch ironic post-post-modern funster?

    Answers on cereal packet

  18. 7-11 Says:

    i think JUN is a cereal packet

  19. Eat My Kimchi Mother F***er Says:

    high in fibre?

  20. idealjetsam Says:

    You heard him, William: Don’t come Korea.

    –Good luck.

  21. The Chuckster Says:

    Jun said it himself… and in his own words “The worst thing is, I’m Korean”…
    Freudian slip I dare say?

  22. Al Says:

    “Fascinating creatures, though. Looks like a lady, but really it’s a man. I don’t find them attractive, it’s just confusing. ” – Alan Partridge

  23. Yobolicious Says:

    I lived in Korea for two years. Although I agree that most you “English” teachers are nothing more than a bunch of pathetic drunk losers who couldn’t find gainful employment in their own country, I find it hilarious that Koreans get so pissed off when foreigners partake of their own accepted vices. It is estimated at 5% of the GDP of Korea is generated from prostitution. Koreans still would rather point the xenophobic finger at the round eye foreigner than do something about the illegal glass houses located within 20 feet of a police station.

    Koreans, it’s your country, if you don’t like foreigners defacing the flower of Korean womanhood then don’t let your daughters turn into whores. Be smart about it and continue to exploit the Russians or Philipinas.

    Ahh, the sweet smell of hypocrisy all around.

  24. andyfox1979 Says:

    the best blog ive read all week

  25. wonko the sane Says:

    Jun said,

    “I’ll remember your face, and I’ll tell you, wish you won’t meet me here when I get back from Thailand. Good luck.”

    My oh my. That’s a slip there.

    Yobolicious, that probably should be teachers in quotations. Western, loser, drunken expats most definitely teach Engrish when they’re not deflowering the local gals.

  26. Supercklin » Archive » Fan Death strikes again Says:

    […] not as insightful as “Working Together to End Global Inequality“, but it’s worth a […]

  27. using a shiatsu massage chair Says:

    using a shiatsu massage chair

    using a shiatsu massage chair

  28. Kafka2k Says:

    I think you damaged Jun’s 기분… cracks me up that he’s going to try kick Ed’s ass if he sees him, thinking it’s Mr. Robertson… what a fucking moron

  29. shanghaishopgirl Says:

    swissjames boasted post-coitus that he wrote most of this

  30. Zach Caudle Says:

    I’ve lived in Thailand for the past three years and you sir are severely misinformed…

  31. !!!!!!!!!! Says:

    interesting.

  32. oo Says:

    my teacher told me that

    what ppl said is what they r …..

  33. What should I do - LB attraction. - Page 29 - Ajarn Forum - Living and Teaching In Thailand Says:

    […] What should I do – LB attraction. Lets Work Together to End Global Inequality After My Trip to Thailand the YANGPA __________________ ‘Give politicians power and all of a sudden they’ll misuse it on ya.’ Clint […]

  34. What should I do - LB attraction. - Page 30 - Ajarn Forum - Living and Teaching In Thailand Says:

    […] Posted by Nickyboy Lets Work Together to End Global Inequality After My Trip to Thailand the YANGPA __________________ WilliamBlake’sWorld #1 WilliamBlake’sWorld #2 WilliamBlake’sWorld #3 […]

  35. Anonymous Says:

    dogging is popular in the UK. WHores are popular in Korea. I guess everywhere has its underbelly.

  36. Visit Website Says:

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  37. Jellie Says:

    In unity we can achieve almost everything. We must always remember that.

  38. Pengertian arti Definisi adalah Says:

    This article read something I can add insight

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