Girl’s Charm School Charms Schoolgirls

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Luxury Bentley Choi, founder of Mrs. Choi's Finishing School for Nice Girls, reflects on her amazingly successful home-grown franchise, and her dreams for the future.

"The girls come to me with many questions. They want to know, "How many syllables should I add after 'Opa?' How can I master emoticons to show my true feelings? What's the difference between a skirt and a belt? What if my boyfriend is prettier than I am?" I teach intensive courses in Flouncing, High Heel and Blister Maintenance, Self-Photography, Stockings, and Stalking. My franchise has been amazingly successful here in Korea, and I have high hopes to extend my methods in other countries.

"I have had several meetings with interested developers in Europe, but for some reason, I've had trouble following up on the deals. For example, after a Danish business man told me he would consider my offer, he then refused to reply to the eight text messages I sent him. I folded the contract into an intricate heart-shape, mailed it with a selection of adorable cell-phone charms, and still no reply. Capital t, capital t. Space. Capital t, capital t."

4 Responses to “Girl’s Charm School Charms Schoolgirls”

  1. Jaderedux Says:

    Okay that’s all fine and good but what about rules for socks and CFM shoes should I wear the printed ones or the sheer ones. Also, how many tops should I wear over my jeans? And can I giggle with my mouth closed or do I still have to cover it.

    Is it okay to completely re-apply my make up while driving or should I wait until I get into a restuarant. And is it appropriate for me to slap my boyfriend and whine in a cute way in the subway. Or is just whining more appropriate for subways?

    INFORMATION DAMN YOU INFORMATION! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO SURVIVE OUT HERE.

    Jade the bewildered

  2. Billy B. Robertson Says:

    I would refer this to our only female staff member, Kermo, but we’ve sent her out to do a story called “Who is Fluffier? Kittens or Puppies?”

  3. Sean P. D. Q. Hogan Says:

    loverly.

  4. Alice Klassen Says:

    Ankle socks are best for flats, but with heels, the Yangpa recommends sheer stockings or knee-highs (they resemble boots but are much cheaper and thinner.) Layer tops until breasts are well concealed, then add a cropped vest to remind onlookers where they should have been. Covered giggling is still in vogue– if it goes out of style, the Yangpa will be the first on the scene.

    Safety first, readers. You can talk on the phone while you drive, and reapply your make-up while you drive, but not both at the same time. A gentle slap is always appreciated, no matter what the occasion. Try it somewhere new to keep the spice in your relationship, like a wedding or the men’s bathroom.

    *The Yangpa is not a fashion authority, and any advice is for entertainment purposes only. If in doubt, consult Luxury Bentley Choi or local equivalent. If you experience any extreme discomfort or loss of boyfriend, stop immediately.

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