Warrior Bee Piqued

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BEE-ON-FLOWERI.JPG

Drone 2nd order #6672, compound-eye-witness
The Yangpa brings you an exclusive look at the other side of the story, told from the unique perspective of one of the 187,000 bees swarming political activist Ahn Sang-gyu.

The Yangpa: One of Korea's bravest voices, Ahn Sang-gyu, recently told the BBC that ""The honeybee dares to abandon its life when enemies are attempting to attack, to protect its own home. From now on, I hope these bees will contribute to protect our Dokdo." What are your thoughts on this?

Drone 2nd order #6672 a.k.a Greg: Technically, our stingers are evolved perfectly for inter-bee combat, and might not be suitable for penetrating reinforced steel or iron. Additionally, not all bees are combat-ready, given that they specialize in other tasks. Drones, for instance, don't even have stingers. Got any islands that need fertilizing? I'm sure they'd be up for it, but in this case, I'm not so sure they're really what Dokdo needs. Now, if he had harnessed the power of killer bees, that would be another story.

TY: How did you feel about being included in this stunt, which has garnered so much international attention?

Greg: Well, we weren't so much recruited as kidnapped, so to speak, and that does colour my view of the whole issue. One minute, I'm building hexagonal chambers for the larvae and the next minute I'm called upon to reinforce sovereignty over a rocky islet. I've got mixed feelings about the whole thing, actually.

TY: How effective do you think will be against a possible Japanese threat?

Greg: Thousands of us were actually crushed in the jump itself, so there's no longer a 1-to-1 ratio between us and the total square meters in Dodko, and that's not even counting the non-fatal casualties. You should see what happened to my friend Eric. He was actually bisected. I'm sorry… I can't talk about this anymore…

The Yangpa will bring you more next week when we interview several hissing cockroaches about their role in the DMZ.

6 Responses to “Warrior Bee Piqued”

  1. vidphile Says:

    Eric the Half bee! HA HA!

    Keep them coming!

  2. Cockenstien Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahaha. Another timeless classic.

  3. Cub Reporter Alice Klassen Says:

    Thank you, Mr. Cockenstien, sir. I was starting to wonder whether Mr. Robertson had taken the profits from my bake sale to fund his own personal cheerleader.
    By the way, do you prefer cupcakes or muffins?

  4. Dear Editor Billy B. Robertson Says:

    I’m sorry, Alice, but there is an extra quote mark in front of the words “the honeybee dares…” Despite its high comedic value, we must dequalify your submission. You will not be able to advance your rank from “cub reporter” to “scout reporter.” But I must say that the coffee you have been serving around the office has been rather delicious. If you would take the time to serve a few english muffins or bagels with that, you might find yourself advancing quickly.

  5. Anonymous Says:

    I prefer scones, with strawberry jam and cream and a nice spot of tea. Not whipped cream from a can like those silly American types eat. Fresh cream. And the scones should be hot.

  6. ::A Geek in Korea:: » Blog Archive » The Yangpa Says:

    […] and fitting that into an Onion style parody of life isn’t that hard. Having it work as a ironic criticism of the culture you are examining sets it apart from "just another […]

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