The owners of the Worthless Shit-o-Torium, a new store that opened in Shinchon, are suing the English language consultant they hired to give them advice on their marketing strategy.
“We feel like he tricked us into adopting an inappropriate name,” said co-owner Jiyong ‘Bubba’ Kim.
His partner, Sangsuk ‘Tits Magee’ Park added, “This is a not a store that sells worthless shit. We sell things people need. We sell jewelry and cell phone charms and much-needed scented stationary. We sell Hello Kitty home mammogram kits and green tea flavored tea. We sell earrings shaped like curly pieces of doodoo. Are those things worthless? No. They’re 7,200 Won.”
In addition to suggesting the name of the store, the American consultant David Luckman also created the store’s slogan “Making your empty life bearable through cheap crap.”
Luckman responded to the suit by saying, “I’ve been an English consultant for a lot of stores and never had any problems. I don’t see the people down at Surly Drunken Whore Cosmetics complaining.”
As of Tuesday, the Worthless Shit-o-Torium will be changing its name to Well-Being Kitten Burst and then going out of business.