Reckless Dressing Claims More Lives

by

Steve Bergdorf, an American English instructor in Daegu, failed to heed repeated warnings from his co-workers, collapsed and died of hypothermia this Friday in nothing but jeans and a short-sleeved shirt. His sudden but needless death follows several other wardrobe-related fatalities this month.

Ho Suk Gwan, Mr. Bergdorf’s employer lamented: “Foreigners just don’t understand that the fall season starts in September. It seems warm to them, but that’s just because they’re looking at the thermometer, not their calendars. I tried to reach out to him, asking over and over: ‘Aren’t you cold?’ but he inexplicably denied it. If he’d only admitted the truth to himself, those children would never have had to see his rigid, frost-covered body topple over right in the middle of class. Is there no end to the stubbornness of these foreigners?”

Earlier this year, howling air conditioners threatened the reproductive health of mini-skirt wearers, but fortunately, the media was able to alert citizens of the risk, and no seriously frost-bitten uterii were reported.

4 Responses to “Reckless Dressing Claims More Lives”

  1. Rathepaws Says:

    I see the light! I will wear nothing but t-shirts all this fall, and winter if necessary, and my hagwon will have no choice but to send me home for my own safety! Thus, sparing my wongjangnim of the lost face of an employee voluntarily quitting his school!

  2. yu Says:

    now that was truly brilliant. you should work in fan death somehow, or how korean folks are mortally afraid of rain.

  3. sewing Says:

    Don’t foreigners realize the serious ramifications of Korea’s having four distinct seasons!?

  4. loop Says:

    Just yesterday a korean looked down at the sandals on my feet and said “Aren’t you cold?” IT’S 76 DEGREES! NO, I’M NOT COLD!

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