In order to direct the massive flow of middle-aged Korean men towards Seoul’s dens of prostitution, the Seoul Metropolitan Government has begun installing new Human Trafficking Lights that can be seen and understood by even the drunkest businessmen.
“This was a necessary step, ” said Vice-Mayor Lee Chulwon. “A lot of men were getting so drunk they couldn’t even find a place to buy sex. Which in Seoul is like not being able to find a virgin at a Starcraft tournament. People were wandering into any place that had a neon sign and asking for handjobs. And sometimes they would get them! We started getting suspicious when the Chinese restaurant across from City Hall began delivering their food in a blacked-out Equus.”
Many prostitution customers are also expressing enthusiasm for the lights. Says 36-year-old Lee Cholwon, “It’ll be good to have a light guiding me. Usually, I just follow the smell of perfume and desperation.”