Human Trafficking Lights To Be Installed

by

In order to direct the massive flow of middle-aged Korean men towards Seoul’s dens of prostitution, the Seoul Metropolitan Government has begun installing new Human Trafficking Lights that can be seen and understood by even the drunkest businessmen.

“This was a necessary step, ” said Vice-Mayor Lee Chulwon. “A lot of men were getting so drunk they couldn’t even find a place to buy sex. Which in Seoul is like not being able to find a virgin at a Starcraft tournament. People were wandering into any place that had a neon sign and asking for handjobs. And sometimes they would get them! We started getting suspicious when the Chinese restaurant across from City Hall began delivering their food in a blacked-out Equus.”

Many prostitution customers are also expressing enthusiasm for the lights. Says 36-year-old Lee Cholwon, “It’ll be good to have a light guiding me. Usually, I just follow the smell of perfume and desperation.”

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26 Responses to “Human Trafficking Lights To Be Installed”

  1. White Tommy Says:

    Best Ever!

    Perople were wandering into any place that had a neon sign and asking for handjobs. And sometimes they would get them!

    Brilliant Stuff!!!!

    5 Stars

  2. Bony Robertson Says:

    Billy Robertson: ” People were wandering into any place had a neon sign and asking for handjobs. And sometime they would get them!”

    White Tommy: “Best Ever ……. Brilliant Stuff!!”
    “5 Stars”

    NOW THATS MORE FUNNY!

  3. White Tommy Says:

    Eye stand corectred.

  4. feralcow Says:

    Fix spelling and grammer before the masses of Shittapinos see this article! They will direct the flow of middle aged Korean men to this site!

  5. Billy B. Robertson HNIC Says:

    Spelling errors in the Yangpa are part of a sophisticated form of satire that you don’t understand.

  6. feralcow Says:

    grammar…

  7. Billy B. Robertson HNIC Says:

    “Spelling errors in the Yangpa are part of a sophisticated form of satire that you don’t understand. ” – Billy B. Robertson HNIC

    And this is a sophisticated form of excuse!

  8. Georgy Says:

    feralcow: “Fix spelling and grammer before the masses of Shittapinos see this article! They will direct the flow of middle aged Korean men to this site! ”

    2 minutes later…

    feralcow: “grammar….”

    SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU RELATED TO GEORGE BUSH?!

  9. Georgy Says:

    Billy Robertson: ” People were wandering into any place had a neon sign and asking for handjobs. And sometime they would get them!”

    CHEAPSTUFF, NOT WORTH OUR TIME!

    It worths 5 SHITS with 10 FLIES!!!

  10. daphne Says:

    don’t really see how this specifically relates to korea. do you have a link that shows honey for money is more rife here than in our respectable west, or is it just that because you live in korea you consider you have a right to throw one in for the local, upstanding citizens?

  11. loop Says:

    In America normal businessmen are not required to go drinking with coworkers then visit salonrooms in order to get a promotion. I believe it’s more prevalent and acceptable here.

  12. Mithridates Says:

    Yeah Billy, let’s see some sources. If you want this to be a serious scholarly site you’d better start providing some backing. I’m still waiting for proof that the actress you wrote about in the summer was actually a hunk of granite.

  13. Jinglejangle Says:

    Daphne:

    Get a grip.

    Really.

  14. ookunoki Says:

    All day yesterday I would think of “Hope you ate your boshintang” and laugh.

  15. BOBOJOE-> Korean Says:

    “FUCK YOU BILLY B. ROBERTSON!” Hows that for a satire?

  16. BOBOJOE-> Korean Says:

    Its not sophisticated but you get the point!

  17. Cub Reporter Alice Klassen Says:

    Bobojoe, would you consider working for this newspaper? Your work is terse yet powerful.

  18. feralcow Says:

    Georgy: “SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU RELATED TO GEORGE BUSH?! ”

    No we are not relations sir. But we both use The Google from time to time.

  19. hardyandtiny Says:

    funny shit

  20. coleman Says:

    Feralcow: “No we are not relations sir. But we both use The Google from time to time.”

    Google – (noun) A guide especially for those who skip their ESL class. (verb) to search desperately.

  21. feralcow Says:

    Hrm, I tink you forgot Google-y, its an (adjective) which means they have popped out and are wiggling around. See (your Momma) for more details.

  22. Googly oogly Says:

    I thought a googly was one of those balls that are really hard to catch or hit because they spin in a weird unpredictable way.

  23. Al Says:

    “FUCK YOU BILLY B. ROBERTSON!” would be the perfect name for your primte-time tribute special. Think we could get Billy Crystal to host?

  24. ALex Says:

    What can I say? Is this for real? …cos if it is – that’s just the best fucking thing I’ve ever read! hahaha…and it’s even better that I actually believe it! Only in Korea, Baby!

  25. naked black lesbian Says:

    naked black lesbian

    Fresh information about naked black lesbian.

  26. ingrid Says:

    wow!in our country we call them “call boys”. in your country you should call them traffic light boys!

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