Crowd Politely Applauds Their Future Overlord

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The crowd at the 2007 Auto Expo in Hiroshima, Japan, clapped politely as they watched simple tricks and exercises being performed by a prototype of the robot that will one day rule all of humanity with unfeeling ruthlessness. The demonstration, given by Honda corporation, featured the latest model of the ASIMO humanoid robot which has been under development for several years. According to Honda, the robot has been programmed to perform a variety of useful tasks, such as walking backwards, standing on one leg, and commanding an unstopple droid army to topple all exsiting political systems and bring them under the iron-fisted rule of Honda corporation.

Said one spectator, “I thought the robot was just great. I look forward to huddling naked in a cave along with the last remnants of humankind as its relentless hunter-killer droids track us down.” Another spectator said, “I wanna get one. He’d be like a teddy ruxpin, but instead of emitting a delightful series of preprogrammed phrases, he’ll rule all of humanity as an undying, emotionless god.” An attending scientist commented, “I envision a future that is like the sequels to the Matrix: dark, disappointing and almost unwatchable.”

The demonstration was one of the most popular at the Auto Expo as adults, youths, and children of all ages laughed and clapped along with ASIMO, unwittingly staring into the same unfeeling glass eyes that will one day gaze upon them with absolute omnipotence, judging those who live and those who die according to an algorithm created by a young Japanese man who likes watching anime cartoons of girls getting violated by giant tentacles and then dating those tentacles.

Even the mayor attended the show, saying, “Hiroshima has always been happy to be the place where powerful, world-changing new technologies are demonstrated. “

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17 Responses to “Crowd Politely Applauds Their Future Overlord”

  1. RYO Says:

    A new post! Awesome. Loved the last line.

  2. ak Says:

    finally a new post. last line was gold.

  3. Mork Says:

    I’m retired now, but if it was 30 years ago I’d
    have you all sucking eggs. Dam’n this colostomy!

  4. Dave Says:

    Haha what a classic the last paragraph is! Keep up the great work!

  5. idealjetsam Says:

    Anti-Hihon sentiment? I knew you would finally cave to the Koreans, you bastard.

  6. idealjetsam Says:

    I also knew I would one day coin “hihon” as an alternative to “nihon”. Better watch out for me, suckas.

  7. Billy B. Robertson HNIC Says:

    I can’t believe I used “rule all of humanity” twice in one article. Yep, that’s the kind quality you can expect from the yangpa…to rule all of humanity.

  8. ROK Drop Weekly Linklets - 30SEP07 at ROK Drop Says:

    […] now obese and guess what’s to blame?  Of course foreign food.  –  Finally the Yangpa has a new posting.  Go read it now.  –  Korea’s Demi […]

  9. The Chuckster Says:

    I can’t believe you used “rule all of humanity” twice in one article. What is wrong with you??

  10. Billy B. Robertson HNIC Says:

    I can see the Chuckster does not like repetition.

  11. Durf Says:

    I can see the Chuckster does not like rep–oh crap.

  12. The Chuckster Says:

    No, no. Repitition doesn’t bother me…. it’s just when people say the same thing twice in one article that I get all hot and bothered.

  13. Mr Phalanges Says:

    Write more. Relieve the intense tedium.

  14. Al Jensen Says:

    Just one more reason I wish I was living in Japan T.T

  15. Jinglejangle Says:

    Today I learned that I should not read new articles from the yangpa while drinking soda at my laptop. My buddy learned that when I’m doing so he should not spread his homework about the table. Everyone else on this floor of the library learned to hate me.

    That’s ok. Soon the robots will take them all.

  16. Onion.com Says:

    Onion.com: great taste less idol-worship

  17. Jellie Says:

    This is so fascinating. I love how the crowd appreciates the performer.

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